10 Easy Steps to Choosing Your Flower Girl

The flower girl has a significant and symbolic role in a wedding ceremony. A bride-to-be often finds it difficult to choose a flower girl. The challenge of the choice varies according to individual circumstances. If a bride has only one significant child in her life who is perfect for the role, then the choice is an easy decision. 

The wedding couple, however, often have more than one young girl in their inner circle. Under these circumstances, choosing a flower girl can become a more complicated matter. Yet a simple step-by-step process can help any bride choose the perfect flower girl.

10 Steps

1. Age Matters
Age doesn't matter in many situations. When it comes to choosing flower girls, however, age does matter! The majority of flower girls range in age from 4-6 years. Sometimes girls - age 8 and even older - fulfill the role. Young girls under 4 years of age have also been chosen for flower girls.

Young girls over the age of 8 may prefer to be junior bridesmaids rather than flower girls. If you choose flower girls under 4 years of age, the task may be too daunting for them. Maturity will also figure into this equation.

2. Play It Safe Or Just Play Along
Young children can be unpredictable and may not follow the program. If you are a stickler for detail, then you may want to play it safe and choose an older flower girl. There is still no guarantee of perfection. An older flower girl, however, will take direction better and be less likely to experience anxiety.

Wedding guests generally appreciate the cute and spontaneous behavior of the little ones. If you are ready to accept possible tiny mishaps, then choose the younger flower girls. Just enjoy the experience - whatever happens! A dropped basket may spill a few petals but it won't turn your wedding upside-down.

3. Relationships Matter
The best scenario occurs when your flower girl already has an existing relationship with you. The flower girl will subsequently feel comfortable in your presence. This familiarity will possibly allow her to feel less anxious on the big day. Family should be a top priority when choosing flower girls. Weddings are about relationships and families.

Choose relatives before you look outside the family. You may find a flower girl on either the bride or the groom's side of the family. If there aren't any young family members or none suited to the role, then consider the children of close friends.

4. Roles Matter
The flower girl has a distinct role in a wedding ceremony. You need to choose someone who can perform the duties. If a girl is too shy or shows little interest in the role, this child won't like being a flower girl. Likewise, a girl who is too young may not be able to perform the traditional tasks.

Children under 3 are sometimes included in modern wedding ceremonies. They may be pulled down the aisle in a decorated wagon of flowers and lace. Young children may even be carried by their mothers. If you want a traditional flower girl spreading petals, then you have to choose a child who is old enough to perform the duty.

5. Have More Than One Flower Girl
A difficult choice can often be resolved with a simple solution. If you have three little relatives who dream of being flower girls, then consider having three flower girls. Victorian themed weddings regularly have 4 to 10 flower girls. 

Very formal weddings always feature more than one flower girl. Royal weddings use multiple flower girls. Choosing extra flower girls creates an elegant and regal setting.

6. Have More Than One Task
There is no need for hurt feelings among young relatives. There are many terrific tasks for children at weddings. If not chosen for flower girls, children can take on other duties. The adults need to emphasize the importance of every role - whatever the task.

Children can pass out programmes or pass out favors. They can toss confetti or turn pages for the musician. With a little originality, young family members can play an unique part in the celebrations.

7. Talk To The Parents
Never approach a child about being a flower girl without consulting her parents. Indeed, refrain from discussing the matter with the parents unless you are seriously considering their daughter. Future disappointment often results from a premature request.

According to tradition, parents are expected to pay for the flower girl dress and accessories. The bride usually chooses the dress. Under certain circumstances and with mutual understanding, the arrangements can break with tradition. Regardless, parents know their child best and must always be consulted about decisions concerning them.

8. Talk To The Child
In an ideal situation, the bride and the flower girl will have a pre-existing relationship. The bride can then easily determine if the girl is interested in the role. It may be a parent's dream to see their daughter as a flower girl. Sometimes, however, little children don't share that dream. They may feel anxious in crowds or self-conscious with the spotlight.

Many little girls love the princess-like dresses and the shower of attention. Other young girls prefer causal dress and small gatherings. Don't choose a girl thinking that she will change for your wedding day!

9. Consider More Than Cuteness
Every bride wants beautiful photos. You wouldn't, however, tell your sister that she wasn't cute enough to be in your album. Young girls who are eligible to be your flower girl are either family or children of friends. They deserve the same consideration. When choosing a flower girl, the focus should be on the relationship - not  on the cute factor.

Flower girls show their presence at processions other than weddings. The flower girl always walks ahead as a symbol of youth. According to tradition, the flower girl is meant to symbolize the hope for the future. True love isn't defined by a fleeting moment or superficial fancy. The perception of the perfect flower girl should rise to that ideal.

10. Choose To Continue
Make an effort to maintain a continuing relationship with your flower girl. She was part of your very special day. Your wedding also welcomed her into a celebration of love. Most flower girls are family members or close acquaintances so it can be easy to keep in touch.

Sometimes couples don't live anywhere near their flower girl. You can always send an occasional card or a short note as a sign of your appreciation. Your flower girl, after all, will forever figure into your love story!

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